


Thinking Of You

by MysticallyGallavich



Series: Song Fics [9]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Kissing, Love, M/M, Passion, Post Season 6, Sad, Smut, Song fic, Suffering, finding a way back, mickey and original character, missing eachother, sexy boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7585468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song Fic - Thinking of You - Katy Perry</p><p>Mickey has moved on with someone new but every time his guy touches him he thinks of what he had with Ian, can anyone ever really move on after a love like he once had with his ex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking Of You

**Author's Note:**

> Back to writing, moving all most all completed now i can focus on knocking out all these prompts, and of course my multi's, and so many new ideas that I have in my head. I hope you enjoy this one because i enjoyed writing it.

  
Thinking Of You

 _Comparisons are easily done_  
_Once you've had a taste of perfection_

Mickey looks at the man standing across from him, his boyfriend or whatever. He didn't really know or care to, this was him moving on, this was him trying to find someone or something to make what had happened with his past go away. Not like it was working, he had been dating this idiot for a few months, and he just couldn't take his mind of what he had once had, what he had once been so afraid to have but eventually did and this didn't compare. If this guy had been the one he had been fucking when he had been in the closet, Mickey was completely sure that he might still be in it. Nothing special to write home about, nothing to make him want to change his entire life and be something else, someone else for another person. Fucking great here he was comparing the guy to Ian again.

 

"Ian?" Ian looks up to see his sister eyeing him sternly, but he just shrugs what else was he supposed to do. "What was wrong with this one?" She asks him, referring to the guy she had set him up on a date with.

"Boring." He states simply.

"Boring, like the last three? Seriously Ian? I thought you wanted simple, something more than..."

"Don't." He says warning her.

"What? Don't what? You said you wanted a relationship, simple, easy, what else do you want me to say? You aren't going to find what you're looking for from playing it safe? We all know you don't like safe and boring, your track record speaks for itself." she says and he glares.

"I swear to god Fi, if you mention his name right now, I will fly across this room and kill you. my track record? my track record is full of a bunch of assholes that I fucked while manic, and before that, it was a bunch of old guys for god knows what reason. The track record you are referring to is not a record, it is one person, one person who meant the fucking world to me okay? One person who I will always love, I am not trying to replace him, You wanted me to go out on dates, so I fucking agreed, because you think that me being alone or whatever is my giving up. So I went, they were boring, and I'm done. Can we just let me be alone for a while okay? You want me to move on, get over him, then fucking let me be." He is practically screaming by now, but who gives a flying fuck.

 

 _You said move on_  
_Where do I go?_

Mickey is almost home, these are the times when he holds his breath, looks around to make sure that nobody can see him. He always walks past the Gallagher house. Even when he knows he shouldn't care, but those steps that he stops to stare at sometimes is where his life ended as he knew it and how he ended up here. How he ended up feeling more alone than he possibly ever had. and now what? He was moving on, right? He had decided that he would and he was but fuck if he didn't want to run into that house every single time that he passed it and beg Ian to change his fucking mind, but he wouldn't do that, couldn't do that. Fuck that red-headed giant for breaking his heart on those steps, those steps where he was pretty sure his heart still lies, broken and beaten on that concrete.

 

Mickey looks up when he hears the sounds and wants to hide, he does want that, but his boyfriend, Sam, where did he come from? comes up behind him and places his hand on his back. "Hey. You okay?" he whispers and Mickey nods and starts to keep walking, even if he sees the flash of red that exits the house, he wonders if Ian sees him but he doesn't stay around to find out. He can't do that to himself.

 

 _'Cause when I'm with him_  
_I am thinking of you_

On the porch of his house, he lets Sam pull him in for a kiss, but the flashes of red are running through his mind. dreams of a taller man wrapping his arms around him, and kissing his neck, he has to hold back the screams that are inside of his head, telling him this is wrong. he shouldn't be doing this, not like this. As his boyfriend presses their lips together, he sees a younger Ian in his head. "He's not afraid to kiss me." the words echo through his mind and he feels like it's a betrayal to let anyone else have the lips that were once only for Ian. Fucking Ian.

Ian stands still as he passes the house that he passes every day because he wants to feel his heartbreak, he needs to know he can still feel it. He knows Mickey has a boyfriend, he knows. He's seen them together before, but never quite like this. He had fully intended to keep walking, pass them by before Mickey sees him staring at this private moment like a fucking stalker but he can't move, and he sure as hell can't help the fact that tears are starting to fall down his face.

 

Mickey is sure he is dreaming when he looks across the street to see Ian standing there, he looks into those eyes from far away, the red and puffy face that is frozen still. A part of him wants to pull Sam in closer and make Ian watch him. Another part wants to break away and go yell at the fucker for daring to be anywhere near this place, and a completely irrational part of him wants to go over and kiss those tears away, pull him into his house and make him remember how good they fucking were. He does none of these things.

  
_How do I get better_  
_Once I've had the best?_

The boys just stare at each other for a while. Mickey with his arms wrapped around his boyfriends but his eyes looking directly at Ian. and Ian alone on the sidewalk tears streaming down his face, but finally Ian finds the ability to pull his eyes away and hangs his head, his hands in his pockets and he turns slowly and starts walking again, and he only turns around once to look back at the house, where only seconds before Mickey was standing but is now empty, and he walks as fast as he can around the corner so that he can breathe again.

 

  
"You okay?" Sam asks Mickey from inside the house.

"mmm, Yeah... I'm good." He lies and fake smiles at his boyfriend. "I'm tired, can we, do this date night another time?" He asks getting a curious look from Sam who just shrugs.

"We don't have to go out Mick...We could just..."

"Don't call me that." He shutters, feeling his whole body tense up. Only Ian can say that, only Ian.

"Okay. another time then." Sam says leaning in for another kiss which Mickey gives him.

 _He kissed my lips_  
_I taste your mouth_  
_He pulled me in_  
_I was disgusted with myself._

Mickey throws a glass against the wall and screams out, and before he can manage to stop himself he walks back outside onto the porch, no trace that Ian Gallagher had ever been standing across the street looking heartbroken. He shouldn't care, he fucking shouldn't. He walked down the street and around that corner, and he kept walking until he was somewhere that he could break down in peace. A place that he always had gone to lose his shit.

 

 

  
Ian doesn't look up when he hears the footsteps, he just sits against the wall, letting himself break. He knows it's Mickey, here to tell him to get out of his sacred place, to fucking leave him alone. He knows, he half hopes Mickey is here to shoot him in the chest and make it stop. Make the pain fucking stop.

Mickey looks down at the broken man before him and it all flashes through his mind. Ian left him, broken and alone, why did he give a fuck about what Mickey was doing? He wants to ask, wants to fucking yell at him, but when Ian finally looks up he sees the fucking fear, Ian hasn't been afraid of him in years, and it breaks him inside and out.

 

"I'm sorry," Ian whispers. He doesn't expect a response but he has to say it, he goes to stand up, his legs shaky beneath him, barely able to get up and brace himself against the wall. Begging himself to make this shit stop, it has to. Mickey is happy and if Mickey had never seen him today he would be at home with his boyfriend, happy like he deserves.

"Why?" Mickey manages to get out and Ian's eyes snap up. "Why are you sorry?" he asks.

"For this. sorry, that I...fucked up everything so bad. It's good that you're happy. You always deserved that. Deserved so much more than I could ever give you. I know that. I know that I did the right thing by letting you go because what you have now is good, pure, normal. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go. Be happy." Ian says sadly and Mickey just stares for a minute as he walks away.

 

"Fuck You," Mickey says and his feet start to move and he grabs Ian's arm, and it pisses him off when the redhead flinches. "Fuck you, Ian, You can't...You can't say shit like that, all loving and fucking shit. You can't break my fucking heart and pretend you did it for me. You mother fucker." Mickey says staring into those eyes that have fresh tears streaming down them. "And you sure as hell don't get to act like you know a damn thing about what is going on in my head okay? You didn't want me anymore, okay fine, but don't you fucking dare!" Mickey says and he doesn't wait for Ian to react, the shocked expression on his face is enough and he can't take it fucking anymore.

 

Mickey grabs his ex-boyfriend and pulls him down, just close enough. "You tell me you can breathe right now? That seeing me like that with him was a good fucking thing? You tell me that it isn't taking every ounce of energy you have to not kiss me, to take my lips back and make them yours again, you fucking tell me, that you don't want to push me up against every wall of this damn warehouse and show me how not good seeing that shit was? Tell me that, and I'll let you walk out of here."

"I...I can't say that...I can't" Ian stutters, his breath fanning all over Mickey's face. "I can't lie to you like that."

 

"What can you say?" Mickey asks looking into those green, encompassing eyes, and runs a hand up Ian's side. The skin that he wants to be touching every day, he has to take it in, he's waiting for Ian to run.

 

  
Ian doesn't say a word he looks at the lips that are ready and waiting for him to do something, something that could make all this better, he should turn around and walk out, let Mickey be fucking happy. He should move away or some shit so that Mickey will never have to look at him again, but he doesn't do that, he just pulls on his own bottom lip with his teeth before he decides that fuck it. He can't do it anymore, Mickey is so close, he hasn't been this close in so fucking long, and he was damned sure he wasn't going to pass up this for anything on his life. Let him die right here, he didn't care. He wraps his arms around Mickey and pulls him even closer, and he doesn't just kiss him, he kisses him as if his life depends on it. Like the oxygen that he has been missing are on those lips and it is. The second their lips connect it's like he's alive again.

The energy coursing through his veins like he had just received a cure or some shit, and he can't help himself, as he kisses harder, forcefully, tasting, biting, he thinks he tastes a little blood. He grabs Mickey roughly and backs him against the nearest wall, his hands working their way through Mickey's hair, down his body and grabbing his ass. The kiss hasn't broken once, and they are both struggling to breathe, so much that eventually, they have to break apart. "Tell me to stop. Tell me to walk away Mickey, If you don't say it, I won't be able to. Please just tell me to go home. To leave you alone."

"Whatever I say right now, you'll do it?" Mickey pants, trying to breathe, Ian nods. "Fuck me." He says and Ian's eyes widen. "If you don't fuck me right here, right now, I will never speak to you again."

"Fuck it," Ian says as he goes to bite down on Mickey's neck he grabs Mickey and lifts him up, usually Mickey would tell him to fuck off, for even thinking of lifting him up like some fucking chick, but he doesn't say a damn word, he just groans and reaches for Ian's pants.

"Off, now," he says and although it's possibly impossible, he manages to unbutton his jeans while still kissing Mickey's neck, Mickey helps a little by using his feet to push the pants down as they start to make-out like before. and Ian moves to pull Mickey's pants down. He needs to touch the flesh of that ass. The ass that he has missed so much.

"I don't...Have...Anything." Ian pants out, and Mickey rolls his eyes.

"When did you fucking ever? pocket." Mickey says and Ian nods, but getting to the jeans was a difficult task. first, he makes sure he doesn't throw Mickey onto the concrete, because that would fucking suck, once Mickey is on equal footing again, he leans down, to grab them out of his pocket, giving Ian a full view of his naked ass. Holy fuck. Ian doesn't think he can breathe, his head goes foggy and he just grabs Mickey and pulls his ass closer to him, and he drops to his knees, suddenly, looking at his ex, his still love of his life, and places a kiss on his ass cheeks.

"Holy.."Mickey pants out as Ian begins to slowly and torcheracely tongue Mickey's asshole. Licking it open, taking in everything he possibly could. As eager as he was the first time they had ever fucked, but more experienced and way more confident. he finally reaches up to grab the lube from Mickey, and coats his fingers, sliding one in and twisting it just how he knows Mickey likes, he waits for the shuttering moan coming from Mickey before placing another one in, and another, working the hole open, needing to be inside of Mickey, needing to feel like his world was whole again after all this time.

When Ian finally, pushes himself inside of Mickey both men sigh, in pleasure, in pain, in every damn emotion possible. This is how it had begun, all of it and this would not be how the fuck it ended. Ian moves slowly at first but he hears the whine from Mickey's lips and he begins moving as fast as he possibly can, pouring everything he can into this. Needing Mickey to know, needing to feel it every single sensation of it.

Mickey moans and pants and cries out with every thrust. There are tears stinging his eyes because this is what he had been dreaming about since that day that Ian had left him broken and confused. This is what he needed. He holds back his orgasm as long as he possibly can, but way too soon he was screaming through his orgasm, and Ian was too.

They collapse on the floor, holding each other for a while. Not speaking, not moving.

“I..I gotta,” Mickey says finally.

“Yeah. Okay.” Ian says sadly but releases his arms that are wrapped around Mickey to let him get up.

Mickey wants to say it's not like that, but he doesn't he slowly gets up and glances at Ian once more before he leaves the warehouse.

\--

It's three days later, Mickey hasn't walked past Gallagher's house, he forces himself not to. He needs to deal with his habit. Even if it was a once off, that happening with Ian meant that he couldn't be with Sam, he couldn't. So he breaks it off, he can't do that to another person. And he waits all of three days before he is standing across the street staring at the steps where he once lost everything. He edges closer and he can't breathe. There is a chance that Ian tells him It meant nothing that he still doesn't want this but he has to know so he walks up to the door and knocks.

The door swings open to a shocked Debbie Gallagher holding a baby. She just looks at him, states really.

“He here?” He asks not needing to explain and she nods.

“Be careful. He's in a shit mood.” She says in warning. But steps aside to let him in and he can hear the yelling from the kitchen.

“Why not? You'll like this one.” Fiona says.

“No. I said no. I am not going out on any more dates with some loser you found on the street. I don't care if he looks nice, I don't care if he has a magic dick, I don't care, about any of it. I told you, I just want to be left alone okay? I'm fine. I'm medicated okay? Going on a million dates is not going to erase what I did, or how I felt, and it isn't going to erase Mickey because I love him. Even if he never wants me again, I love him.” He says and Mickey hears Fiona gasp. “What?”

“It's the first time you've said his name in months, Ian. You refused to talk about it and suddenly…did something happen? I know you love him, I'm not an idiot, we all know you love him.”

“I'm just accepting that I fucked up and no amount of trying to pretend that I'm okay is going to fix it. Okay? Now kindly back off on the dates. No more dates.”

“That's a shame ya know. Had the perfect guy for ya too, oh well I'll tell him you're not dating.” Mickey finally speaks and Fiona and Ian both whip their heads around to find a smirking Mickey standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Mickey?!” Fiona asks staring at him.

“So about this guy I got for ya firecrotch? Want me to tell him you’re not interested or what?” He jokes ignoring Fiona.

“Ummm, no, no, don't do that. Tell me about him.” He says.

“Mmm, nope. Can't do that. Very shy guy,”

“Oh yeah?” Ian smiles at him and makes his way to stand in front of Mickey.

“How shy? I hear shy guys are fucking amazing in bed ya know?” And they hear Fiona snort behind them.

“This isn't happening right now.” She says.

“Mm. Wanna find out?” Mickey says and he sees the twinkle in Ian's eyes and he steps forward and pulls him in kissing him hard.

“What about my date…” Ian jokes and Mickey rolls his eyes.

“I'll show you a date, later.” He says and kisses him again.

  
\--

Fiona looks up when Lip enters the living room through the kitchen. “Am I drunk? I swear I haven't been drinking but then what else would explain my brother in the kitchen making out with Mickey Milkovich. Fi? Am I drunk?” He asks.

“Not unless I am too. You knew it was bound to happen.”

“What? The hallucinations?”

“Would you shut the fuck up in there?!? You're ruining the mood.” Mickey yells from the kitchen.

“Well good. I'd rather you not fuck my brother where I eat. Thanks.” Lip calls back.

“Well, I could fuck him in your bed if you'd rather!!” Mickey calls back.

\--

Ian lightly elbows Mickey. “Stop it.” He chuckles.

“Oh fine. You're no fun.”

“Oh, I can be plenty of fun Mick.” And Mickey chuckles. Hearing his nickname out of the lips they were meant to come out of was music to his ears.

**Author's Note:**

> this one made me tear up as I was writing it, I don't know why, it just did, i really hope you enjoyed it. as always kudos and comments are not just welcome but cherished. Come visit me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mysticallygallavich.


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